Membership has its privileges

My daughter asked, "Mom, will you join Hogwarts Online?"  My first thoughts were, "I don't want to do that.  I've never read the Harry Potter books.  I haven't seen the movies.  I'm not interested in fantasy.  And I'm busy with a million other things."  My first answer was, "Honey, I'd love to, but I don't know anything about Harry Potter."  She asked again the next day and received about the same response.  At the same time, my son was asking me to join Club Penguin.  I have no interest in pretending to be a penguin in a fictional town playing kid games and decorating an igloo.  I told him I thought he'd have more fun with some of the other kids we know who have Club Penguin accounts.  He asked again a few days later and received a similar response.  Then, one night, as I lay in bed in the stillness and quiet calm of the house I felt like I'd been jolted with lightning.  My eyes popped open and a smile spread across my face.  It was in that moment that I realized what a privilege my children were bestowing upon me ... or *attempting* to bestow upon me.  For those who need a refresher, I've included the dictionary.com definition of privilege.

priv·i·lege 

 [priv-uh-lij, priv-lij]  Show IPA noun, verb,-leged, -leg·ing.

–noun

1.

a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most

How does this definition apply?  My children wanted me to have the benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most.  We know plenty of families whose parent/child relationships are strained at best and our children are also very particular about who they spend their time with.  Yes, inviting me to join their worlds is definitely a benefit beyond the advantages of most.


So, the next morning when the kids came in for our usual morning snuggles, I asked them if they would help me register on Hogwarts and on Club Penguin.  They graciously agreed and have been patient with me as I learn how to be a Slytherin AND a secret agent penguin.  I have to admit that I enjoy both activities and am truly honored that my children like me enough to *want* to include me in their lives.  It IS a privilege and I will give it the respect it deserves.  I'm just glad I wasn't too late.

Time

I considered changing my signature line on my Yahoo! account and went looking for quotes about time.  I looked for quotes about time because it seems to me that it is so oft overlooked.  People view time in many ways yet we know little about it.

Often people will say "time passes so quickly" and it strikes me that is a very passive way to consider time. Truly, one could say time stands still and *we* move quickly or perhaps slowly.  As you fall into bed or into your bedroll or nod off on the couch, do you consider the day behind you?  Do you consider that day was there in its entirety when you approached it and you moved through it?  Or do you consider that you are living and waves of days approach *you* and pass you by?

Stop.  Think about that.

Are *you* moving through life or is it moving around you?

I have noted throughout my life that some people are spectators in their own lives.  They have no plans or intentions or direction.  They do not control or even seem to attempt to understand their role in their own lives.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying you have to have everything planned out.  Perhaps your plan is to see where life leads and be ready for new opportunities.  That's still a plan.  It's still a decision.  It's still a sense of control and understanding of your role in your life.

So, I encourage you to be at minimum participatory in your life and at most decisive in its direction.  Above all....

Be True To Yourself,
D

Our Unschool Journey

When our eldest began her education she was home.  She learned to walk, talk, eat, laugh (i.e. develop a sense of humor), read, write, color, build, puzzle, question, live, and love.  When she was four we sent her to pre-school.  Why?  Because she was four and "all" four-year-olds (around us) go to pre-school.  Right?  When she was five she went to kindergarten.  Why?  Because she was five and "all" five-year-olds (around us) go to kindergarten.  Right?

At some point during kindergarten, her teacher realized O was "exceptional" and was absorbing the curriculum as fast as it was presented.  Miss D saw how much O enjoyed learning and began treating her with great enthusiasm; giving her more and more advanced material as she saw how quickly and voraciously O was adapting.  Kindergarten was wonderful!  First Grade was NOT.  In first grade, students are to put aside their childish/childlike ways and start conforming to "the system".  O was boxed up with the other children only to learn what was scheduled to be taught that day...no more.  She was no longer *allowed* to read books "above grade level"!  It was time to look for an alternative to what "everyone else" was doing.

We left school.

Kindergarten was great, so we'd go back to that model...provide her with information she was interested in learning and accelerate it at a pace she was comfortable.  It worked GREAT for a few weeks, then it seemed pointless.  At the rate she was accelerating she'd graduate at age 10, but wouldn't *know* anything.  It was time to look for an alternative to what "homeschoolers" were doing.

We left homeschool.

Umm, hmm...

We weren't really sure what we were doing at that point.  At least we weren't sure of the *label*.  We knew what we were doing.  We were giving O the freedom to read, watch, talk, and learn about what she was interested in exploring.  Flash forward five years to January 2010.  The Unschoolers Winter Waterpark Gathering (UWWG) information was posted to a Georgia Homeschoolers list and we decided to attend.  By the way, "What's an unschooler?"  Well, we headed off to Sandusky, OH and found out what an unschooler is.  Actually, we learned that there is no black-and-white definition.  The simplest explanations I've heard are:

"Living as though school didn't exist."

"Following your passion."

"Learning through life rather than curriculum."

"Trusting that you (or your child) will find whatever you (they) need to know for whatever is important to you (them)."

"Learning what has value to you."

"Following rabbit holes."

By the second day of the conference we had a label to describe our educational philosophy.  We took a deep breath and started exploring the logic of what we were doing and how the trust we had in our children's academics could be applied to other areas of their lives.  When we returned home we sought out others who embraced the autodidactic philosophy (we don't care for the term unschool because it focuses on what we don't do instead of what we do).  We found that we are a limited breed here in Georgia with only a couple dozen families in the state who have found this label.  So, we sought the circuit and now enjoy traveling the country to attend unschool conferences.

We would love to talk with you more about our journey and/or yours.

Be True To Yourself,
Deena

LIFE is Good

We just returned from the LIFE is Good Conference in Vancouver, WA.  Vancouver is just across the Columbia River from Portland, OR (PDX) which is one of my favorite airports.  I love flying into PDX as a pilot....it was less exciting as a passenger.  When you're a pilot you have this amazing view of Mt. Hood, Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Adams, Mt. Rainier, Mt. Jefferson, Three Sisters, and the beautiful Columbia River!  As a passenger, well, you have a cramped view of clouds because it is, after all, OR/WA and always cloudy.

The conference was spectacular!  It served as a fueling station for us.  It fueled our hearts, minds, and spirits.  We are autodidacts.  Some use the term "unschoolers", but I don't like that term.  I'm not a fan of negativity.  Oh, sure, I've succumbed to it throughout my life, but I'm not a *fan* of it and I try to avoid it when I can.  I prefer to focus on what we *do*, not on what we don't do.  We live freely and joyfully.  Some say they "follow their passion".  I can't say that just yet because we're discovering so many interests that we aren't focused on passions.  So, these conferences feed us.

Our hearts are fed by seeing so many families loving each other and others, by enjoying uninterrupted focus on ourselves and our family, by soaking up the love of our tribe.  Our minds are fed by amazing presentations, circle chats, random hallway conversations, recommendations of books and blogs, and thought bombs exploding throughout the weekend.  Our spirits are fed through meditation, yoga, and what The Dog Whisperer calls "calm submissive" wherein we allow ourselves to people watch and be energized by the spirit of others.

We are officially on the conference circuit.  LiG was our third conference of the year and we're excited to attend at least one more (NEUC).  I'm always looking for more conferences and opportunities to connect with our tribe, so feel welcome to comment if you know of others!

Be True To Yourself,
Deena

Thanks for noticing

I spent an evening in Sacramento with most of my crew and completely monopolized the conversation.  I rambled for nearly two hours about my kids and our adventures in homeschooling.  I realized on the walk back to my room that I was the only one talking for most of the dinner and felt rather sheepish.  The next morning when we arrived at the plane that A-line (aka Lead Flight Attendant) smiled and told me how much he enjoyed hearing about my family and our homeschooling.  What really touched me was when he said that it was obvious how much I love and appreciate my family.  On the plane, we see too many children treated as baggage...as a nuisance....an inconvenience...a bother.  I see it on Facebook, too.  So many families looking forward to being without their children as they leave for a weekend away, a week at camp, back to school....anywhere as long as it's AWAY.  I can't begin to understand it.

Seize the day.  Love your family. 

Be True To Yourself,
D

First Post

So, here it is.  I've done it.  I've started a blog, joined with the other 21st century folks who feel the need to shower the world with their wisdom.

Much like my first child, though, it's a little overwhelming.  So much desire to do it "right", not to miss anything too important, not to make those horrible errors that make the nightly news.  So, I'm here.  I'm tiptoeing my way into the pool.  Of course, when you look back at this in a month or so, you'll laugh uproariously at the idea that I tiptoed in.

Why this blog.  Why are you reading now and what do you hope to gain?  Do you think it'll be funny? judgmental? poignant? wise?  YES!  I hope at some point it will be each of those things.

I love my life.  It's not that I have no imagination, but I'm completely satisfied.  I don't want or need for anything.  My children are my great joy and I derive so much pleasure from their presence in my life.

Be True To Yourself,
D